I tell him the problem.
Mr LJ: If you can Log In to our server then our job is done. It must be the website's problem.
After I ask him to just take a look.
Mr LJ: <He starts off by scolding me>Why didn't you Log Off from the previous session. You must Log In and Log Off properly every time.
I wanted to say " I pay $$ for unlimited 24-7 usage then why should I deal with this Log In/Log Off bullshit. Besides, It doesn't affect anything." but since he has my laptop in his hands I didn't want to risk scolding him back.
Mr LJ: <After pretending to run some serious checks he scolds me again>Your IP address is missing, how do u expect to open websites without IP.
Me: <This time I was agitated by his rudeness but maintained my composure>OhYea, the IP is on my desktop just copy it and you will be through.
Mr LJ: <After the network is set up he looks around the desktop and asks me like I have committed the most henious crimes>Don't you have Internet Explorer?
There are 3 browsers on my desktop with big icons: Chrome, Firefox and Safari. Don't ask me why I have all 3 of them. Basically,I just wanted to try them out and was too lazy to get rid of the ones I don't use often. My point is, instead of using any one of those, he asked me for Internet Explorer.
At this point I was tempted to ask him,"What era are u from dude, the 18th century?Who uses IE these days?". But I didn't.
Maybe he thought since the IT guys are always seen fiddling with DOS and all those black and white screens with only text on them, giving me a demo of how to use the most 'ancient' and the lousiest Web-browser would do some good to his image as a Tech support(after all, he couldn't do much that was of any help to me so far)
After I showed him his favourite IE or probably the only one he knew how to use,
Mr LJ: <He opened up google.com and declared>The net is working fine.
Me: <Surprised at this sudden,premature declaration I blurted out>Why don't you try other sites?I couldn't get into a whole range of sites like blogspot.
The very instant I mentioned blogspot he turned to me with a blurr look on his face.This made me realise he had no clue what blogspot was. After a few seconds, he was giving me a 'funny' smile like he had just caught me naming a porn site.
Me: <Trying to get back to serious business I suggested>Why don't you try Yahoo?
Fortunately for me, though unfortunate for Mr LJ, Yahoo didn't open up.I had just proved my point.The network was NOT ok.
Mr LJ: <After trying yahoo & yahoomail which failed, he quickly opens up google to save himself from the obvious embarrassment and says> Its the yahoo website, the rest are fine....
Me:But there are a lot of other sites which I couldn't open , like Youtube, Blogger,Meebo....
Mr LJ:<Cuts me halfway> It happens sometimes the Websites don't function properly the network is fine.
Me: I tried Windows Messenger (I knew he wouldn't get it if I said MSN) and it shows some DNS error.
See Windows Live Messenger has this awesome feature : if it can't 'Sign In' it will conduct a check on all network related things that are required for the Messenger to work and will pinpoint on which area is messed up.After that it also allows repair to be done to that area within the capabilities of MSN. This is how I knew the DNS(whatever it stands for) was creating the problem.
Mr LJ: No,there is no problem. You need to Log Off after every use thats all.
I was convinced that Mr LJ was a total Noob.
So I came back home disappointed and feeling cheated.
Since Mr LJ's help was no help at all, I tried to figure out what was wrong.
I went over to the cyber cafe and did some quick search on the error message that I got for sites like Youtube, Yahoo, Blogger and got to know that some DNS thingy had gotten corrupted and the remedy suggested was to just replace a few numbers in the settings. I went back home, tried it and my net was Alive and Kicking again.
If only I had tried to solve the problem on my own earlier, I wouldn't have wasted an hour of my life with Mr LJ.
The thing is India is the back office of many large MNCs providing tech support to people in the US and UK but the quality of IT support in India for the locals is plainly an "Embarra-shame".
PS: The technical terms have been used in this post due to lack of any other simpler alternatives known to the author.
Full credits for the word "embarra-shame" goes to the IZ Lim Dictionary of funny & distorted Singlish words.